Relationships are the foundation of social networks, social media and ultimately, social marketing.
Travel organizations must realize that like interpersonal relationships, it also takes time to develop lasting customer relationships. Relevance, Engagement, Honesty & Trust are the four cornerstones when establishing an enduring social graph – the same factors that heavily influence who becomes friends during High School.
John Cusack in the 1989 film Say Anything... Showing relationships sometimes involve risks. Photo courtesy EW.com
In the five years since the dawn of Web 2.0, it seems social media has successfully passed through the turmoil of adolescence and is now determining what path it will follow when it finally grows up.
As Say Anything… is a seminal coming of age movie about the complexities of teenage relationships, it might be interesting to to see if any parallels can be drawn between the perspectives on relationships provided in the film and business-customer dynamics in social media relationships.
It turns out the parallels between the stages of education, development of personal relationships and the evolution of social media are significant.
Breaking down the development of the Internet into five year periods enables the comparison of these stages to relative phases in educational and online technology maturation:
1990 to 1995 (Preschool)
School: Learning basic communication concepts through supervised practice and active play.
Online: AOL for DOS launches in 1991; in March 1995, www traffic surpasses ftp-data to became the most popular Internet service; later the same year, eBay & Amazon are founded.
1996 to 2000 (Elementary School)
School: Yearning for independence, students learn experiment with fundamental navigational and social skills like searching for answers and sharing.
Online: The first blog is born in 1997; Google moves off the stanford.edu servers to its own domain in 1998; Napster radically redefines the boundaries of “sharing” in 1999.
2001 to 2005 (Middle School)
School: Trial and error drives creative expression and formative social skills like relating to peers, embracing teamwork and dealing with cliques & bullies.
Online: Wikipedia starts in 2001; Apple’s iTunes Music Store promotes podcasting and LinkedIn introduces professional networks in 2003; user photos and videos are shared on Flickr (2004) and YouTube (2005.)
2006 to 2010 (High School)
School: Interpersonal relationships take center stage and rebellion against authority creates alliances & communities based on common convictions and objectives.
Online: Facebook enables public access and Twitter sees its first tweet in 2006; Facebook then launches its development Platform & Ads in 2007; Chat & Connect in 2008; Fan Pages and real time updates in 2009.
To quickly summarize the plot, Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) is an average Seattle high school nobody who irrationally decides to ask class beauty and valedictorian Diane Court (Ione Skye) out on a date before she heads to Oxford to study on an exclusive scholarship. In travel terms, it is the equivalent of generic airport hotel inviting a first-class traveling, top-tier platinum elite road warrior to be a member of its frequent guest program.
Instead of sliding into the blatant innuendo and double-entendre driven gross-out comedy of the stereotypical modern teen high school comedy, the movies elects to focus on relationships: Lloyd & Diane; Diane & her divorced father; Lloyd & his divorced sister; Lloyd & his two platonic girl friends.
The themes of setting goals, honesty, sacrifice and loyalty play equally important roles for virtually all the main characters. These themes align well with social media’s themes of relevance, engagement, honesty and trust.
On creating a social media presence:
Lloyd Dobler: “I am looking for a dare to be great situation.”
Go down the list and this pretty much sums up the motivation of organizations that have created vibrant social communities. The core objective is never to simply increase follower counts or gain incremental sales opportunities. The goal is always to engage in meaningful, long-term relationships; the type that require organizations to risk transparency and honesty in the hope of deserving a rewarding relationship.
On the secret to successful customer engagement:
“Mike Cameron: I don’t know you very well, you know, but I wanted to ask you – how’d you get Diane Court to go out with you?”
Lloyd Dobler: “I called her up.”
Mike Cameron: “But how come it worked? I mean, like, what are you?”
Lloyd Dobler: “I’m Lloyd Dobler.”
Mike Cameron: “This is great. This gives me hope. Thanks.”
Authenticity is essential for relationships to survive over the long term. Sustaining artificial visages over time is difficult. Disappointment and betrayal frequently result when the other party learns of the deception. Social media behavior consistent with brand personality is similarly necessary to make an initial connection and continue it over time.
On taking a relationship to the next level:
Lloyd Dobler: “Is the movies a good second date? You know, as a date?”
Corey Flood: “Well, you never had a first date.”
Lloyd Dobler: “Yes we did. I sat across from her at a mall. We ate together. We ate. That’s eating. Sharing an important physical event.”
Every relationship starts at some point. Even a small interaction can serve as the basis for future growth. That said, if the customer customer does not remember or acknowledge the interaction, further pursuit begins to cross the line toward stalking.
On understanding customer motivation:
Lloyd Dobler: “How many of them really know what they want, though? I mean, a lot of them think they have to know, right? But inside they don’t really know, so… I don’t know, but I know that I don’t know.”
Social media is all about listening and interactively working through processes with the customer. In many cases, neither the company, nor the customer has all the answers. Recognizing that unknowns exist and that decisions may not be simple or clear-cut helps establish empathy and shift focus to eliminating obstacles.
On understanding customer intent:
Diane Court: “I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things. I know you have to deal with them at the same time, but I just don’t know why they have to happen at the same time. I just wish I could work out some schedule. Am I just babbling? Do you know what I mean?”
Lloyd Dobler: “No.”
Again, it is frequently not the outcome that is important, but the process. Many conversations between some companies and customers, especially those dealing with negative customer service experiences, may start off with each party believing the other is describing a parallel universe. The key to resolving any issue is to find common ground, which requires clarity and honesty.
On understanding the true nature of the relationship:
Lloyd Dobler: “One question: do you need… someone, or do you need me?… Forget it, I don’t really care.”
While it is ideal to know exactly where each party to a relationship stands in no uncertain terms, sometimes just knowing that the relationship exists is good enough. The current state of the relationship is always a starting point that can be built upon to create that “dare to be great” situation.
On sustaining the conversation:
Diane Court: “I just can’t have any social life right now.”
Lloyd Dobler: “Don’t worry about it. We’re just having coffee. We’ll be anti-social.”
Diane Court: “Be friends?”
Lloyd Dobler: “Yeah. With potential.”
Ask any couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary – long-term relationships require work. Relationships die quickly if communication stops. More importantly there must be interest in continuing the relationship. The degree of interest does not have to be equal, but the interest must be mutual. Earnest enthusiasm on the part of one party to keep lines of communication open can help to maintain continuity during periods when engagement levels may ebb.
On dedication to individual customer relationships:
Lloyd Dobler: “What I really want to do with my life – what I want to do for a living – is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it.”
Social media is not about a response rate to a direct response message from a market segment. It is about the interactive relationship between an organization and an individual. A company can only truly be dedicated to social media if it is dedicated to developing and maintaining each individual relationship.
On the ongoing commitment to social media:
Corey Flood: “I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re a really nice guy and we don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Lloyd Dobler: “I want to get hurt!”
The strongest relationships strip away all pretense and connect at a deep emotional level. While only the strongest brands evoke this degree of emotional commitment with consumers, willingness to take risks and make sacrifices to maintain engagement can be rewarded with deepening loyalty.
On perceived inequities in the relationship:
Lloyd Dobler: “She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”
Regardless of how accurately targeted or heavily invested the business may be in the relationship, the customer may not be reciprocating with a comparable amount of engagement. While this can be frustrating for the company, the converse scenario where the customer feels shortchanged by the business puts the relationship at significant risk, making that customer particularly susceptible to timely overtures made by competitors.
On social media euphoria:
Lloyd Dobler: “You must chill. You must chill.”
Social media can become an immersive experience and produce exciting results. However, when social media activities begin to overshadow focus on producing a quality underlying product or service, warning flags need to fly.
On finding the right community manager:
Lloyd Dobler: “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”
There may be no more important decision in social media than the selection of the right community manager. Assuming that a brand has successfully differentiated itself from the competition and has created a unique identity, the community manager becomes the eyes, ears and mouth of the organization for a critically important constituency. The ideal candidate must be equally passionate in their belief of product benefits as they are about amplifying the voice of the customer. The mutual respect and understanding resulting from an open relationship with an engaged community is the ultimate goal.
On seeking social media advice from “experts”:
Lloyd Dobler: “I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?”
Social media expert is the greatest oxymoron since jumbo shrimp. Anyone who claims to be a social media expert in is probably still attending Social Media Middle School.
On overcoming pessimism:
Diane Court: “Nobody thinks it will work, do they?”
Lloyd Dobler: “No. You just described every great success story.”
This brand of optimism motivates companies to provide exceptional customer service and creates opportunities to succeed expectations. If social media success was easy or based on making safe decisions, everybody would be doing it, and doing it well.
Instead, in 2010, Social Media High School looks a lot like a typical high school – most members of the student body are simply trying to find their way, learning as they go. Those so certain that they had High School totally figured out may be in for a rude surprise as the rules change and the stakes are raised when they graduate into the more sophisticated environment of Social Media University.
Interpersonal relationships have never been easy to sustain over time, and there is no indication that social media relationships are destined to be any different.
It will be interesting to see what the post-high school years will bring for social media. In terms of film analogies, I’m thinking Animal House would definitely provide the greatest entertainment value, although that would most certainly be followed shortly thereafter by The Paper Chase when things finally get serious in Social Media Graduate School.
A footnote for trivia and film buffs – Say Anything… was Cameron Crowe’s directorial debut (he also authored the screenplay.) Crowe actually had nothing close to a typical high school experience. Having skipped kindergarten and two grades in elementary school, he was considerably younger than other students. By the time he was 16, he had graduated from high school, was writing for Rolling Stone Magazine and hit the road for three weeks with The Allman Brothers Band on their their first US Tour. This experience resulted in a Rolling Stone cover story and inspired his autobiographical film Almost Famous. When 22, he returned to high school, posing as a student to research the book and screenplay for another seminal high school film, Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
About Robert Cole
